your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
