I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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