You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
