is your mom at the bar?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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