We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
