She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i need some magic done to my vagina
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
