That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
