I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
