Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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