so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
