He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
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I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
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She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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