I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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