We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I want to be your penis for a week.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
