do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
