and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
