im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
