i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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