i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
