I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
