i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize