Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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