It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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