sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
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i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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