be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
