You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
