I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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