Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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