i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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