The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
What a dumb baby whore.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
