I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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