I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
