I wish my penis had an off switch
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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