I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
