I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
