We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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