ya dads aren't the best wingmen
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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