I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
