I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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