just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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