you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
