he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
