did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
