they need to just BURY HIM!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
