Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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