Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
