Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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