I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
