I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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