The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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