nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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