I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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