you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
