I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize