you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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