My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
