I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
