yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
