the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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