Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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