He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went