Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Ppl just aren't as funny as we are

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(847): Ppl just aren't as funny as we are http://tfl.nu/yoyk

Replies (7) Good night (1394) Bad night (653)
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(813): View more from Florida

hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.

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(813): hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton. http://tfl.nu/u4qg

Replies (66) Good night (589) Bad night (4347)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So gin and wine won't be happening again

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(603): So gin and wine won't be happening again http://tfl.nu/oyej

Replies (16) Good night (923) Bad night (3447)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed

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(205): I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed http://tfl.nu/lr4z

Replies (18) Good night (2063) Bad night (3921)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances

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(250): My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances http://tfl.nu/ihp8

Replies (15) Good night (1193) Bad night (4879)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia

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(205): Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia http://tfl.nu/0tpw

Replies (28) Good night (6207) Bad night (1856)
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(817): View more from Texas

he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.

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(817): he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down. http://tfl.nu/bkhk

Replies (16) Good night (4625) Bad night (1056)
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(765): View more from Indiana

She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed

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(765): She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed http://tfl.nu/bbsg

Replies (18) Good night (1818) Bad night (4067)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE

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(203): We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE http://tfl.nu/bmko

Replies (7) Good night (3784) Bad night (893)
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(707): View more from California

I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.

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(707): I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/fbru

Replies (9) Good night (3636) Bad night (766)
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(+61): View more from Australia

We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.

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(+61): We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia. http://tfl.nu/ry0s

Replies (2) Good night (2180) Bad night (588)
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(619): View more from California

For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.

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(619): For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this. http://tfl.nu/nvhn

Replies (14) Good night (1891) Bad night (522)
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(419): View more from Ohio

You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.

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(419): You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'. http://tfl.nu/upi6

Replies (5) Good night (1140) Bad night (435)
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(850): View more from Florida

Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was

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(850): Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was http://tfl.nu/vhsw

Replies (6) Good night (799) Bad night (236)
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(432): View more from Texas

They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!

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(432): They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED! http://tfl.nu/73e9

Replies (3) Good night (511) Bad night (292)

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