your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.