You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
