That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.