i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
