Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
