Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she woke up with a sticky ear
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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