So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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