how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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