we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
